Meltdown

Every parent knows you don't want to become "The One" who loses control of their kid on the plane. In the last half hour of the flight, Abbass and I were both sweating it out in shame as Aamir screamed his head off and attempted to martyr himself by using the kid's seatbelt as a noose. Swiss chocolates were flying right and left as he batted them out of his face. Coos in Swiss German by nice flight attendants failed. The number of calories burned through his teeny body could have powered the engine. And then, once the wheels hit the ground, the screaming stopped as suddenly as it started, and the little guy cracked a big smile seeing the other planes on the ground.

The guy had better be thankful that he's cute. Otherwise, I'd be guilty of a crime.

So, Switzerland.

1. The Swiss are the most efficient customer-friendly people in the world. We had a full flight going to Zurich and there was still no one in line. And everyone smiled as my son used his body to wax LAX's floor throughout security and the gate.

2. The Zurich airport is so clean, I could have eaten off the floor and have my mouth disinfected.

3. Indian standard time does not work with Swiss time, but is compatible with American time, and has given me 72 hours of opportunity to reform my Indian husband and his ill ways with the clock.

4. Swiss people claim they suffer as much stress as Americans. As least our friends who are hosting us claim so. However, I can't understand how you can really be that stressed when you open your window and the chimes of a church tower are resonating across the green fields with the free-range lambs and the Alps in the background, where the precision of clocks and trains were invented, where the salt and pepper shakers are designed like industrial engines and look just as sleek and elegant too.

5. On that note, I ♥ Swiss design. My nerd designer self recognizes their typography is superb. I can't get over the kerning I see in all signs. When a shopkeeper has the most perfectly spaced letters on the corrugated gate of his closed shop, you've hit another standard.

It's taken us 3 days to get Aamir used to sleeping through the night. And it took me 34 minutes to get rid of the stress that I've carried from advertising of the past 3 years while atop of the Alps.

El Sicko

My first hour after quitting my job: my mind is at ease. Bitterness will only harm myself.

The first day off of my job: like a big raging torrent my entire body sets itself on "release" and within 5 hours I'm sick.

I've been sick since Saturday. Like the period after college finals when all that stress balls itself up and then manifests itself, I've lost 3 precious days to pack, shop for gifts and make my life absolutely perfect before sendoff. It's like Chinese water torture with each passing hour. So now it's 1:15am and I'm about to pull an all-nighter while hacking a lung before leaving to Europe. Forget about fabulosity.

It took us all day alone to do the single task of finding glasses for our little dude today. And about 3 seconds before he ripped them off his face. Preceded by Abbass and I almost signing divorce papers, which always happens before every major life transition, we inevitably scream at each other in parking lots, car rides to pick up meds at CVS, and while doing laundry. And before that, dealing with the prospect of our trip being canceled by the volcano-no-one-could-pronounce made me rattle off about "global dependencies" at work like an blabbering idiot.

Have to end this now. Because I have to pack. Like, clothes.